There is nothing fair about arguing. Anytime someone talks about how it's important to be fair when arguing, I wonder if they have ever argued before.
People can have fair debates. Debates are supposed to be fair--no hits below the belt, no pontificating (like that ever happens). But arguments are different.
Therapists will tell you that the key to arguing is to work to make it fair. Hogwash, I say. When it comes to ending an argument and still being friends, someone has to make the first move. It can seem near impossible for a stubborn person (which includes me, and most everyone I know) to be the first one to say I'm sorry. Because there's nothing fair about having to be the first one to say those words. Most likely, I feel that the other person is more wrong than I am, so why do I have to be the first to apologize?
And the answer is simple: I don't. I don't have to be the first one to apologize, to admit whatever wrongs I've committed. But if I wait for the other person to apologize, we're both miserable for that much longer. So the best thing to do is to suck it up, and say mea culpa.
You could do that, or you could decide it is a waste of time arguing with someone you know will not take responsibility for their transgressions and apologize to you, and just walk away.
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